Saturday, October 6, 2007

The Letter

I am writing in regards to my birth on August rd, 2007. I had planned and prepared for a natural childbirth for the birth of my third child. I was fully informed and prepared for the birth process. I started labor at 6pm and left for the hospital with my husband J and doula H by 8pm. We arrived at hospital A at 840pm, there were no rooms available and I was directed to a crowded waiting room. I knew I was close to delivering and decided to go to another hospital.

We decided on T due to its friendly attitude towards mothers who wish to have a natural childbirth. We arrived at T around 930pm. Once there I was told there was no doctor there at the time and the on-call OB would be called. Our nurse K did a vaginal exam and I was found to be 8cm dilated. I then labored comfortably on my hands and knees on the bed with the support of J and H. A little after 10pm Dr. B entered the room and immediately commented with “nice view” of my hands and knees position (I was clothed). He then proceeded to tell me that I was to have an IV placed before my birth was “shot to hell”. I declined and H told him I was fully hydrated and had only been in labor a short time. The nurse also informed him that I was 8cm an hour ago and would deliver soon. He then said since I was not getting an IV he would “let me bleed out and die on the table”. My husband told him no to the IV. Dr. B then tore off his gown and slammed the door as he left the room. A few minutes later after my body started to bear down to push he re-entered the room and told me I “should have stayed home”. At about 1040pm my daughters heart tones started to drop a little, the nurse directed me to move on my side from the hand and knees position. Dr. B started to scream at me that I was killing my baby and that when she died it was my fault and that I should have stayed home. Her levels had not dropped to a dangerous level and this doctor continued to scream at me that I was killing her; he kept screaming this to me over and over again. I begged him to stop; he would not, he just kept belittling me. Everyone in the room was horrified at the way this doctor was treating me. At his point my daughter’s head was bulging in the birth canal. Dr. B yelled, “I’ll give you a c/section.” The nurse told me the baby was fine and that she had dark hair, she encouraged me to push. She was out seconds later (apgar 8/9). At 10:47pm the baby was born. Dr. B stood at the foot of the bed as the nurse delivered the baby. As soon as she was out he ripped off his gown and slammed the door. He never came back in the room, he did not check me for tears, he did not deliver the placenta, did no type of examination on me what so ever.

I was horrified at the actions of this doctor. It is so shocking that any medical personnel would treat a patient in the manner that this doctor treated me. Never I have been so humiliated and abused by a person. I am ashamed that this person was present and witnessed the birth of my daughter. There was no reason for this doctor to treat me the way he did. Neither my husband nor I did anything to Dr. B. I am shocked and upset at the abuse and negligence from this doctor. Words cannot even begin to explain the sorrow I feel when I look back on this day because of this man. I was able to deliver my child naturally and free of complication, but the emotional abuse and negligence I received was beyond imaginable.

I would like a sincere apology from this doctor and most importantly for this doctor to have some type of repercussion for the way he treated me to ensure another patient is NEVER treated this way again.

Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.




Morag said...

You need to call the hospital NOW and get a complete copy of all your records. this is your truth mama. I'm so sorry you were treated this way. You are the reason my classmates and I are becoming midwives.
You deserve far more than an apology.
Call (personally) your hospital administrator and tell him what happened to you. Mention lawyers if the s(OB) is not required to apologize to you personally, in public (in front of the administrator, nursing staff, whoever else you fancy), and in writing.
Tell the bastard from me that he needs to get a new job.
May your healing be swift and loving. blessings on you and your new babe.
Xx Morag

Kristina said...

What a horrific story. I can't tell you how sorry I am you had to experience that abuse.

I'm a new doula, but wanted to share with you that in my studies I have learned that the moment of birth is remembered by a woman very clearly decades after the event, and that the way the mother was treated during the experience makes for a positive memory more than any other factor, including mode of delivery. I can find the research article if you are interested - more fuel for your fire.

I don't know where you live, but in some areas there are counselors who have experience in, or even specialize in, helping women struggling with memories of poor birth experiences.

Also, don't let anyone tell you play the "healthy baby" card - you have a right to grieve your birth experience as a seperate event than the joy you are experiencing from your new little one.


CNH said...

Oh my gosh! I linked over from Meconium Happens and I am just so, so sorry.

Mama, I wish you had not been treated so horribly. :*(

pearly1979 said...

I am so sorry this happened to you. I know that the hurt from this kind of treatment doesn't go away. It hasn't for me. Our situation was different, but we were still horribly treated by a medical "professional" and 2.5 years later it hurts. You can read our story here:

Tasha said...

The only thing the doctor got right was "you should have stayed home". I wish you could go back in time and do over. Thank God your baby is okay, with the maniacal conduct of this doctor. I hope you sent this letter to the hospital immediately - the local newspaper too!