Saturday, October 6, 2007

The sad reality of what obstetrics has become

This was written a few weeks ago on my family blog:

I am sure many of you remember the inhumane way I was treated as I birthed my daughter, only b/c of my choice for a natural childbirth. Well I filed a complaint with the group where dr. b works. I was not in pain, was NOT freaking out, and everything was going just as well as a birth could go. The doctor was mad b/c he had to get his tush out of bed and come in, then ticked b/c I wanted a natural delivery.
Let me also remind you I met the "doctor" about 25 minutes before our little blessing was born.
Some things this doctor said to me:

When walked in the room he commented with "nice view", b/c of my hands and knees position (how are you an OB?)

"you are getting an IV for when your birth is shot to hell"

"I am going to let you bleed out and die on the table"

"you should have stayed home"

"You are killing your baby" (b/c I would not lay on my back to push)

"When your baby dies it is your choice" (again b/c I did not push laying down)

Then as S's head was bulging he said he was going to give me a c-section.

He belittled me the entire time and brought a very cold prescense with him to the room. I begged him to stop talking to me the way he was.

He threw a fit about 5 times and slammed the door numerous times as well. I asked the nurse why he was acting that way and she said b/c he had to come in and I was not his normal patient. This was all in 25 minutes! He did not even deliver her, he stood next to the bed while the nurse delivered her, he did not check her over, did not check me over, did not examine the placenta or ANYTHING. As soon as her feet were out the doctor stormed out of the room and NEVER came back. He made everyone in the room beyond uncomfortable and am disgraced that such a terrible person was able to witness the beautiful birth of my child.
There was no problem at all in the birth, it was a complicated free and amazing birth. This doctor had something majorly stuck up him tush and was upset I was the one in control NOT him. It's MY body, My baby, *I* can make the RIGHT choices for us. Not some doctor who has to have control and *thinks* he is God. Over the years womens bodies have not magically lost it's ability to birth a child. I trust my body to do what it was MADE to do!

So I file a complaint, tell them of the emotional abuse and NEGLIGENCE of this doctor! I get a call from the office saying that they let the doctor know of my dissapointment with him. When I inquire if this was all they were going to do, she says "Yes, what else would you like?" "How about to make sure this never happens to another patient again!"

She also told me the doctor delivered the baby and he did check the placenta and checked me for tears. He did NONE of this! How can a doctor of ALL people treat someone the way this jerk treated me? I do not understand it! My doula H wrote a letter as well and she sums up how I feel pretty well.

here is part of what she wrote:

I have never before witnessed this kind of treatment from a physician. Most doctors are pleased to have patients who take responsibility for their own care and are informed about the birth process. C and her husband were fully prepared to have a natural birth with minimal intervention. They were successful but the outcome could have been very different because of the actions of Dr. B.

I’m not sure why Dr. B treated this patient the way that he did. Neither she nor her husband said anything to Dr. B. They did not deserve this type of treatment (no patient does) and what followed the birth was total negligence. If C had suffered from complications after the birth (such as hemorrhage, perineal tear, etc) there would have been no doctor there to treat her.

I hope that something like this never happens again. T has a reputation for being the most “natural birth-friendly” hospital in the area. Many mothers seek out this hospital because they believe they will have a better birth experience there. Hopefully this was an isolated incident and Dr. B does not treat all of his patients in this manner.


I am so grateful I had such a wonderful support team to keep me calm and guide me to the right decisions while this doctor spewed filth at me. J and H were awesome. The nurse we had also did well to not let the doctor infulence her and pretty much did her own with me. We all blessed to have the nurse we did.

I am grateful it was not just J and I there, atleast someone else can testify to the Medical Board that this kind of abuse is going on. We are not sure what steps we will take next. An apology would certainly be enough, but it does not seem like that would happen any time soon.


Anne/kq said...

Every time I read your story I want to cry.

It is shameful that they are denying it happened (basically.)

I hope you get the media involved, take them to court, or whatever else you have to do to make sure this doesn't happen to someone else.

There has been so much in the news recently about hospitals not taking steps to properly discipline doctors who misbehave and/or make mistakes. Just because he is a doctor does not mean he is above the rules. I am glad you are being so strong for the sake of other women.

Housefairy said...


This is an absolute travesty. I don't even know what to say. For someone to actually voice such voilent threatening words to a birthing mother, it is beyond me how you are doing as well as you are. Please continue to follow this through with the hospital, even when you might feel like dropping it and forgetting it, this guy sounds like one sick puppy, and verbal abuse is abuse all the same.

HUGS to you and blessings on your new baby girl. i am so, so sorry this happened and do NOT give up the fight to get him punished/accountable/fired, whatever it takes. Wow.

Maria Iorillo, LM said...

I am so sad to hear about your birth. I am a midwife and I feel that it is far overdue for this to stop. Please read Marsden Wagner's Born in the USA and give it to people you know. It is an expose of the US OB system. Tell women about midwifery. Women deserve so much better! Also let women know about Ricki Lake's new movie, The Business of Being Born. I think that a shift in thinking may be near. Thank you for being honest!

summershine said...

This infuriates me. There is no excuse for such behavior.

Betsy@Thehomeschoolway said...

I am so sorry you went through that, but what I want to know is how your husband responded? I think my dh would have decked him and he is a pastor! That man should find another job!

Corrie said...

This is something that should be reported to the medical board as well as the hospital's medical director. Did you happen to catch any of it on tape?

I'm glad to hear your delivery went well otherwise. Someone should have had the chutzpah (sp?) to make that dr leave the room until he could get control of himself.

Corrie said...

Ooo, also if he falsified medical records by saying that he did examine the placenta and you (for tears) - your doula ought to be able to testify to that.

He could get his hands slapped for that one. He's lucky everything thing did go okay. Had you bled to death, he'd be handing over his medical license and maybe looking at jail time for negligent homicide (or would it be premeditated?)

Sorry, this sort of thing really gets me riled up!

Marie said...

That is freaking ridiculous!!! I highly recommend contacting your local newspaper to talk about this, or even a radio program. Obviously your letter isn't doing anything productive. But other mothers-to-be in your area need to be warned!

Jordan said...

If you're in the US, here's what the American Medical Association says about filing complaints against doctors:

And here are state medical boards' contact info (whom they say to appeal to):

I know you want to protect your privacy, but to prevent other women from having to undergo the same treatment, you might want to use his real name on the blog.

Slackermommy said...

He needs to be reported! Thank God the nurse is on your side. Take him down! What makes me the most angry is if men gave birth they would never be treated this way.

I'm so sorry this happened to you but happy that the end result was a healthy baby.

Cristy said...

OH my gosh!!! I just got here off of Summer's blog, and WOW! I have given birth twice naturally and am so appalled that this happened to you! Are we still in the 1950's?!! You should make a HUGE Fuss about this! HORRIBLE!

Jennifer said...

I cannot believe this man still has a job! I'm so sorry this happened to you. I agree with what Jordan said - his real name should be out there to make others aware. I totally understand your privacy, but at least his name should be plastered in your area! Him being that awful, surely this wasn't his first time saying horrible things to patients. If you can get your story out, I'm betting other moms will "come out of the woodwork" and share their experiences. I don't care what was going on with him - there is absolutely no excuse for that behavior!
Like Betsy, I think my husband would have decked him too!!
I really hope you can get your story more public so that other moms won't have to go through what you did! I'm so sorry you did though! (And you must be an amazing woman, because if it had been me, I might have decked the doctor myself - or kicked him at least!!!)

Janine said...

I'm going to say this even though I don't know you: I am so proud of you for making it through your baby's birth without losing it!

I had 2 natural births. One at home. And one in the hospital. When I told my doctor I wanted a natural birth, he said "you'll want pain medication as soon as you go into labor." Because we are military, I had to see this guy - BUT (thankfully) I could pick a home birth and had two very supportive midwives. My second baby's birth was great - but my military midwife (who was way too tired!) told me if I didn't deliver in 3 hours, I'd have to consider alternatives. I gave her the look of death, and she got the point.

Here's how I see it...doctors are trained to treat the emergencies and "sicknesses" - to them pregnancy has to fall into one of those categories, or they don't know what to do with themselves. They feel useless if nature just takes its course.

You go girl! Karma sucks - this guy will get his due!